Welcome the 3rd Annual Royal Rumble Running Diary. The Royal Rumble is one of WWE’s four preeminent pay per view events (the others being WrestleMania, Summer Slam, and Survivor Series) throughout the year. This also officially kicks of the road to WrestleMania, the WWE’s Super Bowl like event. For those unfamiliar, the Royal Rumble is named for its main event match which pits 30 combatants against each other in an over the top rope battle royal. It starts with two wrestlers in the ring with another being added to the mix every 90 seconds. To be eliminated, a wrestler must be thrown over the top rope and hit both feet to the floor. The last man remaining goes on to compete for the WWE World Heavy Weight Championship at WrestleMania.
This year’s event will showcase five matches:
The 30-Superstar Royal Rumble Match
WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar
Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt
WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs The New Age Outlaws
7:54:05 PM - Welcome to the 2014 Royal Rumble!!!!! Our announcers tonight, as per usual, are Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and JBL.
7:54:31 PM - The first match is already over, turns out the WWE Tag Team Title Match was a preshow event. Oh, You Didn’t Know?! Yeah I forgot it was a preshow match up. Oh well. We have new Tag Team Champs. The Road Dog Jesse James. The Bad Ass Billy Gunn. The New Tag Team Champions. Yep, you read that right. The New Age Outlaws are Tag Team Champs for the first time since 1999. I’m all but certain tomorrow night on Monday Night Raw we will hear news now that The New Age Outlaws will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year as a part of DX. I hope so. If that is the case, it would only be fitting to induct the nWo as well this year.
7:59:39 PM – WWE put together an expert panel of past winners to give opinions and feedback on tonight’s events. This panel consists of Hacksaw Jim Dugan, The "Heart Break Kid" Shawn Michaels, and The Nature Boy Ric Flair. Wooooooooooo. We just got the expert panel’s opinion of who will win tonight’s Royal Rumble.
Hacksaw – Dolph Ziggler (so I guess that answers whether or not Ziggler will be participating tonight)
HBK – The Shield (always good to hedge your bets when you can have 3 possible winners with one pick)
Ric Flair – Batista (The Animal returns and is the heavy favorite to win tonight)
8:06:08 PM - Time for Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt. This match is brought to you by Duck Dynasty and Appalachian Outlaws.
8:08:40 PM – The over/under of YES chants has been set at 324 1/2. I’ll take the over.
8:11:06 PM – Wyatt’s goons, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, have been ordered to leave ringside. In past weeks the Wyatt family has used the 3 on 1 attack to their advantage. I had anticipated WWE using the usual 3 on 1 storyline in this match as well. So much for that. The good news is we may finally get to see what Bray Wyatt is capable of in the ring.
8:20:19 PM – 15 minutes in, this match has been dominated by Bray Wyatt. It’s time for the pace to pick up with some back and forth action and for this match to end.
8:23:32 PM – Daniel Bryan is either suffering from an early onset of Parkinson’s or is channeling his inner Hulk Hogan. He’s got the shakes.
8:26:46 PM – After a slow start, the typical hyper pace of a Daniel Bryan match is taking over.
8:30:42 PM – 1. 2. 3. Bray Wyatt is your winner. Great start to tonight’s action. Great start to Bray Wyatt’s career in single’s competition. I’m curious to see what WWE does with the Wyatt family after the storyline with Daniel Bryan. Does this conclude it? Who’s next? Maybe we’ll find out later tonight.
8:32:39 PM – We’re moments away from Brock Lesnar vs. Bigshow. My guess is this match is here simply to set up Lesnar vs. either Orton or Cena at the next PPV. Lesnar has already proclaimed that he is the number one contender going forward. No better way to make that official then having him dominate the world’s largest athlete.
8:34:44 PM – Big Ben sighting ring side. Nice constellation prize for not playing in either the Super Bowl or the Pro Bowl.
8:39:28 PM – Michael Cole gives us this, “It’s amazing how the atmosphere changes when Brock Lesnar enters the arena.” Ahhh yeah. That’s because every WWE fan watches petrified that Brock will snap and actually break someone in half.
8:40:47 PM – Lesnar has already dismantled Bigshow and the bell hasn’t even rang yet. Sick. Repeated chair shots from Lesnar have Bigshow down and hurting.
8:44:23 PM – The bell finally rings and we have a KO punch from Bigshow. Lesnar was going in for a kill shot with the steal chair only to take a right hand to the chin from Bigshow. Both wrestlers are down and out and we're 30 seconds into the match.
8:45:25 PM – Oh shit. We just had an F-5 from Brock and the match is over. That’s about as good of a 5 minute match as you can have.
8:47:06 PM – It appears we may not be done here.
8:47:18 PM – Brock is back in the ring using a chair on Bigshow again. This is followed by another 10 plus shots to Bigshow outside the ring now.
8:49:22 PM – Brock is now onto his 3rd chair having already broke 2 chairs over Bigshow’s back. The message has been sent. Brock Lesnar means business.
8:50:40 PM – So we actually had 1 minute of match and 8 minutes of beating by chair. Excellent ratio.
8:52:17 PM – I would have loved to have been there when they pitched this match to Bigshow. “So we’re going to have you fight Brock Lesnar at Royal Rumble. That sounds great. What do you think about having Brock beat you senseless with a chair for 10 minutes? That work for you? Are we positive he knows this isn’t real? No, but you’re the only one we feel confident that may survive such an attack. Fair enough. Book it.”
8:54:10 PM – While we have a free moment I’ll put my Royal Rumble final 4 predictions out there. CM Punk. Roman Reigns. Big E Langston. And your winner….The Animal Batista. I’m not certain on the Big E Langston spot but I’d parlay the shit out of a bet for the other three being there at the end of the night.
8:57:17 PM – Orton vs. Cena coming up. I’m curious to see how Orton escapes with the title tonight. This is a match we’ve seen repeatedly during the past 10 years or so which makes it difficult to put a new wrinkle in to keep it original. I’m confident they’ll find a way to make this match work yet again.
9:07:13 PM – Both men are in the ring. During introductions mostly boo’s for both Cena and Orton. As the bell rings the crowd is chanting Daniel Bryan. Thank you Pittsburgh but he's not wrestling.
9:09:35 PM – Let’s go Cena!/Cena sucks!
9:10:24 PM - JBL acknowledges the crowds chants for Daniel Bryan and points out that we’re in Pittsburgh and the fans may not realize he wrestled in our first match. It’s truly isn’t a WWE event without someone insulting the intelligence of the city the show is in.
9:12:41 PM – We’ve had chants now for Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Macho Man Randy Savage, and the Undertaker during this match. Now the crowd serenades them with chants of “BORING!!”
9:15:19 PM – Great move by Orton. He’s yelling at the crowd letting them know that they should be chanting his name. Not Daniel Bryan. Not John Cena. Me baby. Me.
9:20:23 PM – Side rant, I understand the Pittsburgh fans wishing to see either Daniel Bryan or CM Punk in this match. Chant for your guy the first 30 seconds before that match starts but then pick a side. You’re at the Royal Rumble. You’re reactions set the tone for everyone else viewing at home. Cheer for one of the two competitors and deal with it. That is all.
9:23:12 PM – The Ref was just knocked out. While the ref was out for the count, Cena put Orton in the STFU (his submission move) and Orton tapped out. Thinking he’d won the match, Cena released Orton from the hold only to turn and find the referee out cold. Classic WWE.
9:24:32 PM – The crowd just chanted “This is awful!!” Relax Pittsburgh.
9:25:35 PM – Jerry “The King” Lawler just acknowledge the crowd chants by saying that he thinks they’re trying to get into the head of Randy Orton to help John Cena. Valiant effort by the King.
9:27:02 PM – Orton just used both of Cena’s finishing moves (the STFU and the FU) on Cena. I wish they used this angle more often. And with that being said Cena just RKO’d Orton. Congrats Pittsburgh, you’re missing a very good match. You’ve all but guaranteed your city will never see another WWE PPV again. Mission Accomplished.
9:29:42 PM – The Wyatt’s just came out to ringside and distracted John Cena long enough for Randy Orton to RKO Cena and win the match. Nice twist. Looks like Orton went out and got his own muscle to get his back. This also looks like the Wyatt/Bryan storyline is done with Cena being their new target. Not what I anticipated but I like it.
9:32:27 PM – Very good undercard action tonight. I’m happy. Pittsburgh, are you happy? Guess not…
9:36:26 PM – While we wait for the Royal Rumble match, let’s take a moment to contemplate the coming arrival of the WWE Network. After years of trying to pedal DVDs to its fans, the WWE has finally found its perfect platform, its own network. The brain trust at WWE did an amazing job by including PPVs, past and current, as part of the package. For whatever reason, most professional sporting leagues have been hesitant to show all their programing on TV for free or a relatively low cost. Who’d have thought that by showing all of your events on TV, you build a larger fan base and in turn sell more merchandise and tickets to said events? And after selling more merchandise and tickets you can then MORE IMPORTANTLY charge advertisers more.
9:42:49 PM – It’s time for the Royal Rumble Match!!!!
9:43:01 PM – We learned on Raw this week that CM Punk will be entry number 1, who will be number 2?
9:43:43 PM - #1 CM Punk. Best In The World!!!
9:45:10 PM - #2 Seth Rollins. Our first of 3 members from The Shield enters the ring. Good choice by WWE to start us off.
9:47:41 PM - #3 Damien Sandow. We just had our first of 28 countdowns tonight. Nothing more exciting in the WWE universe than the anticipation of hearing who’s music is about to kick on as the crowd countdowns 5, 4, 3 2, 1!!!!
9:49:16 PM - #4 Cody Rhodes.
9:50:06 PM – Sandow is our first elimination of the night by the hands of CM Punk.
9:50:45 PM - #5 Kane. No mask. No Big Red Machine. He’s Corporate Kane tonight.
9:52:00 PM – Goodbye Kane. That’s the second elimination for CM Punk for those keeping score at home.
9:52:24 PM – #6 Alexander Rusev. This is our token NXT entry for tonight’s event. For those who don’t know, NXT is WWE equivalent of a minor league system. He’s thrown two people over the top rope only to have them hold on and avoid elimination. Rookie mistake.
9:53:57 PM - #7 Jack Swagger. The All-American American squares off against the Bulgarian from NXT to chants of USA USA USA!!! You can always count on the Rumble to have at the least three showdowns in ring that lead storylines going forward. Is this the first?
9:55:24 PM - #8 Kofi Kingston. Let’s see what absurd way Kingston avoids elimination this year. In years past Kingston has pogoed on JBL’s chair back to the ring and also walked on his hands outside the ring. Kingston was genetically created in a lab and bred for this event.
9:56:48 PM - #9 Jimmy Uso. Seven wrestlers in the ring for those keeping score at home. About time for the NXT guy to go.
9:58:19 PM - #10 Goldust. A Shattered Dreams Production. Which Rhode’s brother is going to eliminate the other tonight? You know that is happening.
9:59:24 PM – Rusev is out. While standing around Kofi was knocked out and into Rusev’s arms outside the ring. Rusef placed Kofi on the side barrier and he jumped several feet back to the ring. He did it again. I can see it now, a WWE DVD (check that a documentary on the new WWE Network) showing Kofi Kingston’s greatest Royal Rumble moments.
10:00:55 PM - #11 Dean Ambrose. The second member of the Shield to join tonight’s action.
10:02:15 PM - #12 Dolph Ziggler. I have a feeling Ziggler’s stay may be short but he is going to make an epic exit.
10:03:24 PM – The ring is getting crowded. The good news is that it’s filled with guys who actually wrestle. The main benefit of the NXT has been the added depth to the roster.
10:03:52 PM - #13 R-Truth. No rapping tonight? No time to rap. R-Truth means business. He sprinted into the ring and like that he’s gone. He should have given us at least one WHAT’S UP!
10:04:52 PM – Jimmy Uso. He gone.
10:05:31 PM – Another great move from Kofi. He latched his feet to the bottom rope to keep from falling to the floor. While dangling, he pulled off Jack Swagger’s shoe and used it against Swagger to keep from being eliminated. I know I'm being repetitive but once again, he was made for this match.
10:05:48 PM - #14 Kevin Nash. Big Sexy. The New World Order. So far we’ve had The New Age Outlaws and Kevin Nash. Is there any question as to whether HHH is calling the shots at WWE?
10:06:13 PM – Nash eliminates Swagger. Now we get an nWo/Shield stare down. Too sweet. Get Scott Hall out here. Big Sexy needs some back up.
10:07:18 PM - #15 Roman Reigns. Wow. Reigns just tossed Kofi and Ziggler like rag dolls. I told you Ziggler was going out in epic fashion. Kevin Nash gets low bridged and tumbles over the top rope as well.
10:08:59 PM - #16 The Great Khali. The Punjabi Playboy.
10:09:52 PM – This is now The Shields show. All three members in there, working together, just eliminated Khali.
10:10:37 PM – Goldust just tossed his brother Cody Rhodes only to be shown the door moments later by Reigns. I guess we’ll be seeing the brothers square off at WrestleMania this year now that they’ve lost the tag titles.
10:10:41 PM - #17 Sheamus. Are token “returning from injury guy” gets a warm welcomed back. Sheamus has busted the skulls of all three members of The Shield but, to no one’s surprise, was unable to eliminate any of the three.
10:12:17 PM - #18 The Miz. We’ve had 18 wrestlers enter the ring, so far so good.
10:13:45 PM - #19 Fandango. They’re Fandango’ing in Pittsburgh. We have seven men in the ring for those scoring at home.
10:15:13 PM - #20 El Torito. El Torito is a midget dressed in a bull costume. You read that correctly.
10:16:53 PM – El Torito just eliminated Fandango only to be eliminated by Roman Reigns moments later. That’s six eliminations for Reigns so far. Since the announcers keep pointing out Reigns’ elimination total, I’m guessing this total is going to get pretty high before all is said and done tonight.
10:17:29 PM - #21 Antonio Cesaro. The other half of the Real American’s is in the ring. Rollins gets to feel the effects of the Cesaro swing.
10:19:00 PM - #22 Luke Harper.
10:20:30 PM - #23 Jey Uso.
10:22:12 PM - #24 JBL. JBL enters the ring in full suit and tie. "Suit up!" He takes his jacket off, first mistake, and Reigns throws him out.
10:23:41 PM - #25 Erick Rowan. The Miz was just eliminated by Luke Harper after being tossed around by Rowan first. Rowan follows by eliminated Jey Uso. Tonight has been a showcase of the Wyatts and the Shield.
10:25:24 PM - #26 Ryback. The crowd chants Goldberg. Enough said.
10:26:53 PM - #27 Alberto Del Rio. Or for those of you who don’t speak Spanish, Albert of the River.
10:27:41 PM – Three entries to go. Cole informs the audience that Punk and Rollins have been in the ring for 42 minutes.
10:28:16 PM - #28 Batista. The Animal is back.
10:28:42 PM – He eliminates Erick Rowan and now a showdown with Ryback. Goodbye Ryback. Those two are closely followed by the elimination of Del Rio. That's three eliminates quickly by Bautista to validate his presence not only here tonight but as your WrestleMania headliner.
10:30:17 PM - #29 Big E Langston.
10:31:19 PM – The YES chants are starting already. Will #30 be Bryan? Of course not. If anyone in Pittsburgh paid attentions to the promos they’ve shown in the arena and at home tonight they’d already know who #30 was going to be.
10:31:42 PM - #30 Rey Mysterio. Poor Rey. He’s getting booed because he’s not Daniel Bryan. I bet he wishes he was back in the 619 right about now.
10:32:40 PM – Congrats Pittsburgh, you’re officially the worst crowd in WWE history.
10:33:09 PM – Sheamus shows Langston the exit door.
10:33:50 PM – Rollins eliminates Mysterio next. Reigns eliminates Harper only to see his own partner, Dean Ambrose, attempt to send him over the top rope. Reigns then sends Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose packing at the same time. Cole informs us that Reigns has tied the record for most elimination’s in a single Royal Rumble.
10:35:28 PM – Down to the final four!!!!
10:35:39 PM – Kane just came back to eliminate Punk. 3 left. Batista. Sheamus. Roman Reigns.
10:37:24 PM – The booing continues for no apparent reason. Unreal. In good news, I won my Punk, Reigns, Batista parlay bet. The prize being that I get to be a 33 year old single male watching wresting for another year. I am the winner!!!
10:39:11 PM – Reigns eliminates Sheamus for his record setting 12th elimination tonight. That’s 40 percent of the competition. That’s Stone Cold Steve Austin territory right there.
10:39:42 PM – Damn Pittsburgh, stop booing.
10:40:09 PM – Batista and Reigns just took turns spearing each other. Always funny seeing two guys square off who have the same finishing move.
10:41:22 PM – The Animal is going to WrestleMania. The movie star comes back to help draw an audience in while boosting ticket sales to his own movies. This is a move that is mutually beneficial for both parties involved and the right move at that. Despite finishing second, Roman Reigns is the real winner tonight. The WWE basically announced what most fans suspected anyways, Reigns is Champ in waiting. What a great showing by Roman Reigns tonight and horrendous showing by the city of Pittsburgh. Last one out of Pittsburgh, burn it to the ground.
