Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Simpsons Tapped Out Future Content



As a Tapped Out Addict, I frequently find myself considering what content I will eventually be able to add to my town from future updates.  Like with most of my musings, I decided to scour the internet hoping to quench my desire for useless knowledge.  Unfortunately for me, I was only able to find lists that were created in 2012 and have since seen all or most characters added to the game.  Luckily for you, I decided to make my own list.  Well, two lists actually.  The first list is of characters that would be part of a regular level update as free or premium items.  The second list contains characters that would work better as part of the Friend Points Rewards with no tasks or buildings associated.  Enjoy.


Free/Premium Characters

Honorable Mentions:  Frank Grimes, Lyle Lanley, Arthur Crandall & Gabbo, Ruth Powers, Captain Lance Murdoch, Janey Powell, Wendell Borton, Lindsay Naegle, Cookie Kwan and Stacey Lovell

15.  Artie Ziff:  Tell me, Homer, what's it like being married to Marge?


 


14.  Old Jewish Man:  Old grey mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.


13.  Mr. Bergstrom:  And for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys. Big guys, who were great shots, and spent money freely.


12.  Mrs. Jacqueline Bouvier:  I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk. So I'll just say one thing...You never do anything right.


 

11.  Dr. Marvin Monroe:  This is not the way to get healthy!



10.  Akira:  You can if you believe you can.



9.  Helen and Jessica Lovejoy:  From now on, I'll use my gossip for good instead of evil.



8.  Lunch lady Doris/Dora Freedman:  The cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff.



7.  Lionel Hutz:  And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.



6.  Herb Powell:  Now, what do I do? I mean, this is the guy who ruined me. Then again, he's my brother... So many conflicting emotions. How to express them?



5.  Bleeding Gums Murphy:  The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it.



4.  Rabbi Hyman Krustofski:    I have no son!



3.  Stonecutter Number One:  And now for the final ordeal: The Paddling Of The Swollen Ass! With paddles.


 

2.  Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy:  Billowing backpacks Radioactive Man, it's the worst villian of them all, the Scoutmaster!  I see him, Fallout Boy.


 

1.  Troy McClure:  What a terrible waste... Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure! You might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot." For the next sixty minutes, we'll be seeing actual film of car crash victims.

The greatest peripheral character The Simpsons has every seen, Troy McClure needs to be included in this game.  


Friend Points Rewards Characters

10.  Leon Kompowsky/Michael Jackson

 
So we have Calmwood Mental Hospital but no patients?  (As of now, Ned can't check in.)  Even though Leon/Michael was committed to the New Bedlam Insane Asylum, all Tapped Out Springfield's could use a good mental patient wandering the streets.    

9.  Lisa's Pony: Princess


Bart got Stampy, now it's only fair that Lisa gets her pony, Princess.  I loved the Godfather reference when Lisa woke up to pony head next to her in the episode Lisa's Pony.  The Simpsons' writers have always excelled in their references to cinema.

8.  Dr. Hector Von Colossus

Dr. Colossus first appeared as a photo of one of Malibu Stacey's (Stacey Lovell) ex-husbands and had his only line in Who Shot Mr. Burns?.  A very interesting character that the writers have refrained from using for whatever reasons.  Ideal for a Friend Points Reward.

7.  Corporal Punishment

The enforcer from the Krusty Show, Corporal Punishment seems like a more likely choice than Tina Ballerina for inclusion in Tapped Out.  Hopefully the game is around long enough that we get to see Sideshow Luke Perry.

6.  Stewart (Power Plant Duck)

Stewart was shown as an employee at the Nuclear Power Plant during the episode The Last Temptation of Homer which also introduced us to Mindy Simmons.  A duck in a hardhat would fit right in with this game.  Monty Burns still stands by his hiring practices.

5.  Sir Oinks-A-Lot

The mascot from Springfield A&M, Sir Oinks-A-Lot, would be the latest in a long line of animals and pets to be apart of The Simpsons: Tapped Out.  At some point, I'd like to see the college nerds included in the game as well.  

4.  The Devil

 

I know the game has a Ned Flanders version of the devil but I've always been partial to the version from Bart Gets Hit By A Car.  I guess the problem is that the devil has shown up with several different appearances through the years.

3.  Gunter & Ernst & Anastasia

 

I'm sure these three performers from Monty Burns Casino could work as regular level update characters if the casino was ever added.  Since we've already seen one casino (Caesar's Pow-Wow Casino), I find it unlikely that we'd get two.  So they get demoted to Friend Points Rewards status.     

2.  Bear

Since Bart and Lisa are covered, it's time for Maggie's own furry friend/friends.  Having a bear sucking on a pacifier seems just right for the Tapped Out streets.  Perhaps you'd be able to set the bear to a task of walking around with Maggie much like the episode The Call of the Simpsons from season 1.

1.  Rasputin The Friendly Russian & Professor Werner Von Brawn

 
One of my favorite minor moments from any episode is the scene in Bart the Daredevil where Homer (at Moe's) and Bart (at home) are watching the Rasputin vs. Von Brawn match and see the Truckasaurus commercial (I'd gladly pay 10,000,000 for Truckasaurus).  As a fan of both wrestling and monster trucks, this combination of the two within 2 minutes of television still amazes me over 20 years later. 
 
If you miss this, you'd better be dead... or in jail...And if you're in jail, break out!  

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